Monday, September 28, 2009

cold feet

Making decision that change your life is something that could make any person a bit nervous. As much excitement as I feel for this trip that I have dreamed about for my whole life, there are so many things and people that I will miss terribly.

To start with, I am so sad to be missing fall in my beautiful Northwest home of Bellingham. Based on my experience, Whatcom county is the best place for fall and it is also my favorite season, so you can understand why my heart will hurt to be away.

Next, I will miss my car. Judy (a 1983 two door green volvo), just so happens to be the best car around. As much as I try to be a social responsible individual and ride my bike or walk as much as possible, I also enjoy going on a beautiful drive with some music that I can sing along too while looking out the windows as the world passes me by. Now, I know that I will have plenty opportunities on my trip to enjoy seeing new scenery and listening to lovely music (I already made a train mix on my ipod), there is something so empowering when you are in complete control of where you are going and how fast and all of the things that come along with being the driver of a vehicle.

But most importantly, I will miss the people in my life. I will try not to get to sappy and obnoxious but really, aren't the people in our lives the ones who make it worthwhile?

My mom and I have been talking a lot more in the past few months than I think we ever have and I have been enjoying it immensely; I will miss being able to pick up the phone and talk about nothing for as long as we both feel the need to continue talking. And for the first time in my life I am finally getting to know my little sister. I went to an AA meeting with her last night found myself on the verge of tears because I was so proud of her and so happy that I am finally able to know my own sister. I will miss the security of being able to call my father when I am worried about something and knowing that he will always be there to support me and that his selflessness will be there to help me when I need him.

As much as I realize this might not be the best time for me to go away for a two month trip that is based solely on my own selfish desires, I also know that there might not be a better time. I had coffee with an old childhood friend yesterday and he is also about to go on a long trip, we both were talking about how maybe there isn't really a good time to go away on a trip. I mean, what are we waiting for? for everything in our lives to be just perfect so that we can leave it behind and put it on hold so it will be less of a mess when we get back? To be honest, I don't see my life ever looking like that. I love my life, but I can't wait around for all of my ducks to be in a row before I decide to live a little and go on an adventure. I guess what I am trying to say is that however far away I am and although I wont be seeing all of the people that I love on the daily, I will think of everyone and be praying.

Friday, September 25, 2009

defining things

Wikipedia defines the term vagabond as an itinerant person, or a person who travels from place to place with no fixed home. Synonyms for vagabond include tramps, rogues and hobos.

When I was thinking of how to describe my blog and how to best explain what it is that I will be attempting to share with you, I thought of the word vagabond. Then I did some research on the word and found my online searching transforming into what I feel is a decent description of my jumbled thoughts on my life as it stands currently.

I started with the word vagabond and found a few synonyms so I took those and ran with them. Now, rogue is a word that may be used to describe an independently-minded person; one who rejects conventional rules of conduct in favor of following personal values. As much as I would love to claim that I could fall under this category, I would hardly call backpacking around Europe for two months to be an accurate example of this definition.

And the word hobo just seems so unromantic and lacks a sense of class and sophistication that I hoped my blog would portray.

I realize that out of the three synonyms I chose to discuss, the only one left is tramp. I am sure that for most people when they read this word they think of someone, most likely a female, who is somewhat promiscuous. It was interesting for me to learn that the word has more to do with an individual who is a wanderer and a nomad.

Because this word "tramp" seems to be controversial I decided to include it in the name of my blog. I mean who says some of the things I might write about won't be controversial anyway?